In the spirit of loving friends, famliy, fun & self-deprecating humor, we are pleased to introduce a new series to our Gay Wedding Fodder readers: It’s My Wedding And I Can Cry If I Want To. Several couples have expressed an interest in sharing the stories of their wedding journies with Gay Wedding Fodder and we are pleased to share this space with them. Each is in a different place in the wedding planning process but all love to weave a good yarn and all are happy to share with us their trials & tribulations, inspirations & tips, and tears of joy and tears of disappointment or dismay. Perhaps you’ll recognize a bit of your relationship in these intallments?
A Mormon Love Story?
Meet Heidi & Brittany
Heidi: Brittany and I met in 2002, shortly after I graduated from college and just before I moved to St. George, Utah. I worked a part time job in a gas station that was attached to a Domino’s Pizza, where Brittany was a manager. We both worked in the same place and didn’t really talk to each other for a few months, but she was so cute and tomboyish and I knew I wanted to get to know her.
One day I was listening to Avril Lavigne. After the CD ended, Brittany came in to open the Domino’s and put on the same CD. So, as sneakily as I could, I restarted my CD, and put it ahead a song so it didn’t seem like I had just decided to listen to it because she was, and I hoped she would talk to me. As she was walking around she leaned over the counter (in her cute uniform).
Brittany: Yeah, my uniform covered with pizza sauce and cornmeal.
Heidi: It was cute. Anyway, she asked if I was listening to the same CD as her. And the conversation just flowed from there. She came over after she was off work and we talked for a few hours. She took me out to her car and showed me her sound system. I felt shy and weak and excited all at the same time, and I knew we would become fast friends.
Brittany: Yeah, it was the sound system that got you, wasn’t it?
Heidi: Maybe it was! Anyway, a few weeks went by and I moved down and in with my grandma and we started spending every free moment we had together.
Brittany: And by free, she means even that time we should have been asleep.
Heidi: Yeah, really. We decided to become roommates, so she could get out of her parent’s house and I could get out of my Grandma’s house. Some nights, we would drive around looking at houses or scoping out apartments, and talking as if we had known each other forever, until 4 in the morning.
Brittany: But we were just friends, of course. Neither of us dared to talk about anything else, because we were both Mormon and it was “wrong” to admit that the feelings we were having were much more.
Heidi: When Christmas rolled around I went home for a few nights, back up to Northern Utah. I was miserable. It was basically the first few nights we had spent apart for a month or so, and all I could do was think about her. I called so much that my phone’s battery went dead, and my family was mad at me for not spending more time with them. While I was gone, Brittany wrote a poem for me that she read over the phone, about how I was her best friend and she loved me.
Brittany: As a friend, of course.
Heidi: But I felt much more when she read that to me. I think that’s when I started to really realize and admit to myself what I was feeling. When I got back I asked her to spend the night at my house. We slept in the same twin bed, snuggled, but nothing happened. The next night, the same thing. Finally, on the third night, December 28, 2002, I was fed up with waiting, and leaned in to kiss her.
Brittany: Because even though all the signs were there, I was too chicken to kiss her! And trust me I’ll never live that down!
Heidi: But at least somebody was daring, or we’d still be miserable! So, we moved into an apartment together in St. George a few days later, and everything felt right for the first time in my life. Both of us had been with men before, but like good Mormons, we had never slept with anyone. We saved ourselves for the right person. And we had finally found that right person. But, overcoming those feelings that we were doing something wrong was a long and arduous process. We hid what we had from everyone around us, and even split up for some time and dated men again trying to escape from what we knew we were.
Brittany: Well, Heidi dated a few men. I couldn’t bring myself to do that.
Heidi: Yeah, it was pretty much me that was having a hard time with all the guilt.
Brittany: It’s just lucky that we decided to move to Salt Lake. We were tired of being in St. George, and one day Heidi said “Let’s just move to Salt Lake.” So I started looking for jobs and she transferred with Dillard’s and we moved. For the first few months we were still split up, but I was being patient because I knew she just had to work some things out and that she’d come around.
Heidi: And I finally did.
Brittany: So then, I proposed that September, on the 26th. Let’s see, that was 2004, right? I got our good friend Lina to decorate our whole apartment with candles and roses and play our song on repeat while we went to dinner. But Heidi knew something was going on because we were coming back and we saw Lina driving my car!
Heidi: Yeah, that was funny. But I just figured you were doing something special for my birthday.
Brittany: I was so nervous. Lina and everyone kept telling me not to worry about it, that Heidi would say yes of course, but I was still afraid I’d make a fool of myself.
Heidi: You shouldn’t have been nervous.
Brittany: I was, right up until you said yes.
Heidi: But we still weren’t out to our parents. That came about a month or so later. We can talk more about that later.
Brittany: So, now, we’ve been together almost four years.
Heidi: In December.
Brittany: And we own a home together and we have a cat.
Heidi: And we’re getting married! September 26, 2007 in Canada or Massachusetts.
Brittany: But we’re going to have a ceremony and send off here in Utah for our friends and family. We’re still trying to decide where we’re going to have it and all of that.
Heidi: But we definitely can’t back out now…I bought a DRESS!
Brittany: I never would.
Heidi: Neither would I.
Editor’s Note: Would you and your partner like to participate in our Blog Serial, It’s My Wedding & I Can Cry If I Want To? Learn more about the series and contact Kathryn.